We're expecting baby #4!
We've known for quite a while, but because of our recent miscarriage decided to wait before making it widely known. It hasn't exactly been a secret, but we haven't proclaimed it from the rooftops either (which is hard for me because I'm so happy about it).
So at this point, I'm nearly through the first trimester and everything looks good (except my waistline...fat looking stage). We had a couple of really scary weeks initially where I went through some symptoms I've never had in any pregnancy before. We were never able to determine what was going on in my body, but it felt like an emergency. I really felt like my body was trying to abort the pregnancy. I don't believe we'll ever understand it in this life. I am very grateful that Jim was able to give me several Priesthood blessings during those weeks.
I've thought a lot about our miscarriage in December, and wondered why a lot. With my first miscarriage, although I was sad, I was consoled with the fact that one miscarriage is very common. I also trusted in the Lord that it was His will and He knew what was best for our family. Then I was blessed to bear three children in a short time frame. I've always been grateful for that blessing. These little ones are my every day joy.
Our second miscarriage surprised me. I honestly expected to never go through that again. While I trusted the Lord that it was again His will and that it was again best for our family, it was harder for me. The months it took to conceive again were difficult.
I recognize now one lesson that experience had in store for me and I am grateful. I know and love many dear women who have had difficulty or who have been unable to bear children. I've always felt much sympathy for them, in part because motherhood is so joyful for me and I know I would ache for my little ones if they weren't here. I've certainly been blessed with fertility and I know at times that has been hard for my friends. I know they love me, but it is nevertheless hard to stand by and watch while someone receives blessings you desire with all your heart.
As I eagerly hoped each month (months that I recognize were a relatively short time) to conceive, my thoughts were turned toward these dear women whose desires for motherhood haven't been fulfilled or have been a difficult road to obtain. They were in my thoughts and prayers more than ever and I was able to experience new empathy for them. After we joyfully learned we were expecting again, not only was I more grateful than I'd ever been for a pregnancy, but these women remained in my thoughts and prayers. They still do. I love these dear women and earnestly hope for the blessings of motherhood to come to them. I am grateful that my miscarriage taught me this lesson.
10 years ago






















