A Guide to a Mom's Life

12:00pm: Pat yourself on the back for putting away three weeks worth of laundry.

12:01pm: Share your success on social media.

(See my pretty new quilt?  I bought this for $17; it was originally $120...pretty pleased about it.)

12:02pm: Have delusions of grandeur about the read aloud time and other attention you are going to give your children for the rest of the afternoon.

12:03pm: Discover half a bottle of bubble bath poured onto the carpet.

12:04pm: Go downstairs to retrieve the carpet cleaner and discover that your gluten intolerant baby is eating Grapenuts by the handful (which she first poured all over the dining room).

12:05pm: Wonder how sick your baby is going to be and then infuriate her by removing her from the scene of her delight.

12:13pm: After cleaning up the dangerous cereal, retrieve the carpet cleaner.

12:15pm: Bubbles...BIG bubbles.

12:20pm: Rinse, suck, and repeat...over and over.

12:30pm: Wonder if putting away the laundry was worth it (because that left the 3yo unsupervised to dump bubble bath).

12:35pm: Ask an older child to feed the baby lunch.

12:45pm: Tell yourself that the lovely smell in the room is the silver lining.

12:46pm: Not convinced.

12:48pm: Observe that the water in the dirty tank is now clear enough and soapy enough to bathe your children in.

12:50pm: Smaller bubbles...hope!

12:55pm: Fresh rinse and...BIG bubbles! Hope squashed.

1:00pm: Decide to attempt the throw up trick. (Using a metal utensil to squeeze liquid out of carpet.)

1:01pm: Release crying baby from her high chair. Observe her entire lunch that she threw on the floor and resolve to get a dog next year.

1:02pm: Open utensil drawer to grab a spatula and wonder what the 3yo did with all of the untensils.

1:03pm: Attempt throw up trick with some success.

1:10pm: Wonder if two square feet of carpet is worth all this effort.

1:11pm: Envision the dirt that will stick to soap left in the carpet and the resulting large stain. Rinse, suck, and repeat.

1:30pm: Decide that putting away the laundry was definitely NOT worth it.

1:45pm: Consider how many gallons of bath water this much bubble bath would normally be used in. Sigh at the half gallon rinse tank on your carpet cleaner.

1:46pm: Promise yourself that you will stop after three more rinses.

2:00pm: Heartily wish someone had thrown up instead.

2:15pm: Fulfill your promise. Carpet still sudsy. *sigh*

2:30pm:Commiserate on social media.

2:31pm: Take a deep breath, and go downstairs to discover what mischief has been done while you failed to clean the carpet.

2:45pm: Bump into a pile of dirty laundry. Recall that you were on your way to start this laundry when your afternoon was derailed.
2:46PM: Start that laundry.