Not So Happy News

I debate about making this post even as I write it, but at the same time I want it known since we'd so widely announced our pregnancy.  We've learned that I'm going to miscarry.  About a week ago, I woke up without nausea or exhaustion and immediately felt like something was wrong because I never feel that good during my first trimester.  I've had a strong feeling since that day that I was going to miscarry, and today we had that confirmed.  Interestingly, development stopped probably on the same day I began to feel worried.  I'm grateful that Heavenly Father prepared me for this news, and grateful that I can relax and allow things to take their course in the comfort of my own home without worry.  I've been through this before and really am not scared at all.  Now it's just a matter of waiting.  I actually feel more emotionally calm now that I have this confirmation.  I'm very disappointed.  I used to think that the more kids you had, the easier it would be to be patient for the subsequent ones.  I've learned that I'm just the opposite.  I want each one more intensely than the last and I'll admit that this miscarriage has already been more difficult than the first.  I'm a very open person, as anyone who knows me is aware of, and talking about this doesn't bother me at all.  It's not a subject to walk on eggshells about, for me anyway.  On the positive side, I have been counting my blessings this week and that has really helped.  I am very richly blessed and my life is good and full.