February 2016

In all, I was in Colorado for eight weeks and Logan was with me for the last four or five.  He had plenty of time to be bored, so I often found pictures like this on my tablet.

Through a series of scary and miraculous events, we discovered that my mom was reacting badly to the medications and we were able to move to a better regimen.  When we first made the change she went from being unable to speak, unable to swallow, and unable to wake up to being almost fully coherent and having an appetite.  We were blessed with one beautiful day where she was laughing and joking with us almost as normal.  After that she declined slowly, but her agitation was nearly gone and she was much more coherent and rational.  Most importantly, she was finally comfortable and able to rest.  When she'd reached the point of unconsciousness I'd mourned that she was finally leaving us, so this was such a blessing.  I felt like my mom had been given back to me.

She had a new inflow of visitors once we changed the medication regimen.

This happy day that she 'woke up' for us was Valentine's Day.  Such a blessing!

Laurel was constantly passed around and she loved being held by everyone.

She learned to sit up!

Laurel wouldn't go down for naps during our time in Colorado, but she'd fall asleep nursing several times a day and take little power naps.  She was always happy.

Danielle, Aunt Sandy, Alan, and I had lots of time to hang out.  Things were much calmer.

Logan took more pictures.

The team!  Even though it was such a difficult ordeal, I think we were all strengthened by it. I feel that I was blessed through this experience more than any other in my life.

Danielle and Aunt Sandy went home towards the end of the month, and I began to feel that it was time for me to go as well.  We'd gone from a point where it took four of us around the clock to manage my mom's care to a point where Alan could handle it on his own.  It was truly a miracle that we reached that point, and we were so happy that we could fulfill my mom's strong desire to remain in her home.

Laurel, Logan, and I said goodbye on March 1st.

January 2016

A box is one of my favorite 'baby hacks'.

The day we arrived home from our trip to Colorado, we received word that my mom had gone downhill quickly and was going to have another brain surgery.  We decided that I would return to help with recovery again, so after a short week at home Laurel and I boarded an airplane to return.

My mom's surgery was more difficult, but she wanted to be in her home so badly that we brought her home after a few days in the hospital.  She had no mobility and was really struggling, but she put on a good face.

This was the last day she was fully herself mentally.  The following day she had a seizure that continued for two and a half hours, and only stopped in the ER when they gave her heavy medication.

She spent several more days in the hospital, during which time we learned that she'd had a brain hemorrhage, possibly from the recent surgery.  We had a little party to celebrate her 60th birthday in the hospital.

Her big birthday present was to be released from the hospital later that day.

My mom loved that Laurel liked to sit in a box.  Laurel did eventually learn to sit by herself during the next couple of weeks.

We started in home hospice care immediately after returning from the hospital the second time.  She began a rapid decline, and we were told that her time could be really short, so we invited friends to visit.  She had a never ceasing flow of visitors, and we had to limit them so she could rest.  She was so loved.  She was heavily drugged during this time and very agitated as a result (we were told that it was from the cancer, but learned later it was from the wrong medications), but when she had visitors she'd put on company manners and smile and visit. 

My sister, Danielle, came to help midway through the month.  This was the first time all four of us had been together in five years.

This was an emotionally and physically exhausting time.  My mom was always the kindest, sweetest person who put everyone before herself, but the medications made her agitated, angry, and irrational.  She didn't sleep at night at all, and she was constantly upset.  She couldn't understand what was going on and we couldn't reason with her.  She also couldn't move herself at all, so we took care of all of her physical needs. She was constantly uncomfortable, itchy, and too hot or too cold. 

We had many miracles during this time, too.  Her church community brought us meals every other day for months, and they also volunteered to take turns staying the night so that we could sleep.  So many people helped us in very tangible ways so that we could keep Mom in her home and continue caring for her.  Laurel was a bright spot for everyone and so content through it all.  I've never had a young baby sleep through the night before, but she always did which was such a blessing.

In the middle of one very exhausting night shift, she wanted me to take her picture.  It was so sweet and innocent.

I was originally supposed to go home after three weeks, but Jim had the impression I needed to stay longer.  I had a hard time seeing how being away from my children that long would be a good thing, but I trusted that the Lord was directing us.  One thing that was bothering me was being away from Logan in particular.  His anxiety is always so high, and he was particularly struggling during that time.  As an answer to prayer, I received the impression to fly him to Colorado to be with me.  Immediately we found out that a friend would be coming to visit my mom the following week, and she was coming from an airport near us.  So Logan was able to fly out with her.  It was such a relief for all of us to have him there.  He was able to calm Mom when no one else could, and he was a strength to everyone.  He was really close with his grandma, and I think being near her calmed his anxiety. 

We had many light hearted moments with cousins when they came up to visit.

Even though she was so incoherent, my mom was aware that her newest grandbaby was around.  We were able to give her quick snuggles.  Her family was so important to her.

A church friend dropped this bouncer off for us to borrow and Laurel loved it.  Others lent us a stroller and often offered to help with the baby if I needed it.

Everyone thought her box was funny, so we ended up with lots of box pictures.

An aunt arrived to help shortly after Danielle did, so with extra help we were able to leave the house for breaks from time to time.  Josh and I had an excursion to Cabela's one day before he headed back to Salt Lake.  We put these glasses on Laurel.

Josh loves his newest baby niece.

December 2015

This kid sure loves his baby sister.

Logan had his first pair of glasses just in time for Christmas.

We had our annual Christmas party with friends.

Abby was terrified of the Santa Claus at our church Christmas party, but she wanted the candy cane.

Christmas morning!

The kids received underwear in their stockings.  (I'm THAT mom.)  Some were less pleased than others.

Some were more pleased than others.

The day after Christmas we drove to Colorado to have Christmas with my mom.  We also had family pictures taken. 

We had a really great week with my mom.  She was able to move around independently and she could visit with us normally.  We played games, we were silly, and we enjoyed being together as a family.  We had a lot of fun.  The rest of these pictures are from our week at her house.