Sam

Since I posted about Sam's illness a few weeks ago, I want to give the final update as well.  After she became so sick right before we moved, she regained energy and was acting very normal two weeks later.  Two weeks ago Thursday, I decided to give her a bath because I'd been avoiding it since she'd been so weak.  I gave her a really nice brush down, which she loved, and a bath which she didn't love as much.  It was good to see her so energetic again, but when I bathed her, I had a feeling I was doing it for the last time.  On Friday morning, I found her very lethargic once more, barely able to stand, and having trouble breathing.  She'd also thrown up and it contained blood.  I was quite distraught that day and in tears most of the morning.  We ultimately decided not to try for surgery to remove the tumor because it gave such little hope of recovery at a high cost.  I watched her closely that day, and Jim watched her closely over the next few days while I was out of town.  Poor girl, it was so hard and sad to see her suffering like that.  We both had a feeling that her time was short, so we had the kids say goodbye before we left on our trip.  On Tuesday night, she became so weak that Jim determined it was time to end her suffering.  He took her to the vet, but she collapsed as he was signing in and had passed on her own a minute later.  They determined that when the tumor burst this time, it had been filling her lungs with blood.  On the one hand I'm grateful the kids and I were away when it happened because it made it less difficult, especially for the kids.  At the same time, I wish I could have said goodbye one more time.  Considering I didn't even want a dog when we took her, I'd become very attached to her.  It's a little unreal to me that this strong, energetic, independent dog isn't here, and that I can't hug or pet her now.  I am glad she is no longer suffering, though.